Crazy wrote: ↑April 21st, 2010, 8:48 am
Here ya go Stan .
Memorable Red Skelton
For those of you old enough to remember Red Skelton, I think you will enjoy this e-mail.
For those of you not old enough, you will see what you missed.
Either way, his humor was always clean and he was a great entertainer.
Here's a re-run of great 'one liners' from the man who was known for his clean humor.
I hope you get a chuckle or two reading them once more. . .
RED SKELTON'S RECIPE
FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE
1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a
little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays..
2. We also sleep in separate beds.
Hers is in California , and mine is in Texas ..
3. I take my wife everywhere,
but she keeps finding her way back..
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested the kitchen..
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops..
6. She has an electric blender, electric
toaster and electric bread maker.
She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place
to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair..
7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well
because there was water in the carburetor.
I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake.."..
8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days.
Then the mud fell off..
9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late
for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!"..
10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce..
11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her
first name was 'Always'..
12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.
I don't like to interrupt her..
13. The last fight was my fault though.
My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!"..
Can't you just hear him say all of these?
I love it........these were the good old days when humor didn't have to start with a four letter word. It was just clean and simple fun.
He would end his program with .... " God bless " and a big smile on his face.*****
**** Actually his sign-off was " MAY God Bless"
He was humble enough to requested God's permission to bless!
